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Friday, December 16th, 2005
2:03 am - The problem is i don't have patience
So this has to do with my last post somewhat. I think the reason i don't feel like wanting to take it further with the certain someone is partly due to quirks this person has, and the reason i stated in the last post. Anyone who knows me knows when it comes to woman i am super picky. Some woman think i am a player, i think i am more looking for a right fit, so i never settle. I can't seem to commit how i feel one way or the other at this moment.

Since i really care about this person i don't want to rush to any conclusions in any direction. She has some things that frustrate me, but have I ever met someone that I thought was perfect? I almost feel like its time to come to terms with the fact that, that concept is not reality, shoot i am about to turn 27. The thing about this girl is I truly respect her, I mean i love her as a friend, so the last thing i would want to do is say i kind of like you, to later realize i didn't, and vice versa. For both our sake we are still getting to know eachother at a healthy pace, in a healthy manner, thus i have to be patient to see how time tells this story. She is here for 10 days, I just spent 12 hours with her, and i can't wait to see her again, if that says anything about how i feel. I am fickle when it comes to love interests, but not with friends, so with this relationship i have been doing the opposite, hoping that i can follow my patterns that i do with my friends and if something develops, i have a strong base that should overcome any nit picking I throw in the mix.

All in all I don't think it will work out with the phone # girl, she is hot but after 2 dates i had enough. This was a funny story i should have told. I have also met a couple of persian girls in the past month, but i should listen to my mom and stay away!

current mood: impatient

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Friday, November 18th, 2005
12:57 am - "Before we go any further...Lets be friends" Whoduni
So the other night i totally had some vivid ass dreams. Usually i have them and i end up forgetting the main topic or main occurrence, but this one i remembered, most likely due to the subject. I tend to have dreams that apply to my life or are necessary for me to maintain a sense of awareness with myself. Usually they have a chance of coming true or being relevant to something i need to do or should have done.

This dream was one that paired me and someone i have grown very found of over the past 5 months and have slowly became really close with. I don't really feel a sense of lust between us, but I know we are so similar and so compatible, and i know we both can feel this. She is in California at the moment and i feel that is good thing, since i need to clear up my mind, this dream didn't help, or maybe it did.

She is on my mind often, but i don't know if i really like her that way. In the dream we were chilling out just being us and she reached over and told me "Aaron I like you" (i know this sounds so middleschool), but it wasn't, my reaction was just what i typed previous. One of confusion and not sure what to say, like i want to like you but i don't know if i do, or let me look away and try to change the subject; which in the dream i did, and i woke up contemplating was that what i would have done? Would I have said i like you too, and kissed her or would i have just backed off and been shy and confused? I totally think she is attractive and that she is wonderful but the lust factor is not there right now, i thought maybe its because she lives elsewhere so i try to evade that aspect and respect her, and respect our friendship that i cherish. Maybe its because i know thats not what our relationship is supposed to be about at the moment, and we are learning about eachother in a healthy fashion... But then I say to myself, she is just a friend and thats how it should be, or maybe its because she is Jewish and my mom, always says "when are you going to find a nice Jewish girl", hence i do the opposite! I need a good fortune cookie. She is moving here soon and i hope this dream sheds some light on this situation and prepares me if the crossroads of becoming more then friends decides to arise.

current mood: confused

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Friday, September 30th, 2005
2:30 am
Driving over the Ship Canal bridge at dusk is the ultimate, the view, the lighting, its orgasmic! I told a person i care about off, I have not answered her calls and have been real to myself, its a done deal and not worth the struggle any longer. It was written (maktub). COme to the Mirabeau Room this Friday..holla at me for the guest list! I drove 140 down the express lanes at 5am the other night....crazy! I am totally asexaul lately...try and change me i dare you!

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Thursday, September 1st, 2005
3:12 pm - Tuesday night is quite alright
So i hung out with Nina the other night, she is getting cooler, she is getting out of her college girl partying stage, she is going to sign a 2 year contract with the radio station. We were at the Garage and met some cool peeps while bowling, she was so much more open minded then i remember.

I then ventured down to Ohana's and the Bada Lounge for my friends Zac's b-day. Zac is can out drink anyone i know, he had been drinking for 5 days straight, the previous night we did 4 shots of Patron back to back and like 1:30am at the warroom, so i was taking it easy....he wasn't but he is a pro and i must say he handled it like champ.

This really cool girl came up to me and commented on my shirt and ohana's and i told her to head over to Bada after a lengthy convo. She came over there and was wanting to hang out with me after wards, but i declined, and when i did i felt like a jerk and asexual at the same time, like Aaron why are you turning her down.

Well i did, i stayed up till about 4am, then i had one of the most vivid dreams of my entire life. It involved some gorgeous girl that was somehow friends with my friend Christina. Needless to say everything about it felt real, from the people in it to my reactions, to the surroundings. She was Argentinian and a little overwhelming but i woke up back in reality.....

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Thursday, August 25th, 2005
6:24 pm - a 27 mile hottub
I went night swimming last night, i have to say Lake Washington was so fuckin warm it was almost unreal. As warm as you could imagine it being, it was warmer! I was drunk and jumping off the 8ft dock didn't make me get my head straight...I was dizzier then i can remember, but all in all it was good and i am going back tonight!

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Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
3:06 pm - Grrr bad DP
So i went on this scout for this Star Wars short i am lighting today...the Director of Photography is so out there, its gonna be a hellish 5 days of shooting but i need the money right now.

I went to Everson on Sunday again a floated down the river, this time i was the one who almost died...I thought for a second i was a goner!

I want to bowl sometime this week, The Garage anyone?

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Thursday, April 14th, 2005
6:54 pm - Don't you forget about me!
A small stint in time...a lasting desire in life. Not realizing the essence and the struggle involved, putting aside the loss of emotions for that desire. I count on my finger eachtime but my heart says of something infinite. It isn't if, its when they continue in time, the thought of not remembering is not an option. Stop and think about the beauty in us, the princess of power in the heart and in the soul, time doesn't forget why we won't forget, it doesn't forget me being beautiful or you being exsquite. I fight for the desire in us, I fight for the infinite collisions in our hearts. Don't forget about that desire!!!

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Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
10:38 am - Pushing to Pull me
I like someone finally. I told her too. It's the way she looks at me, the way she smiles at me, it's the way she digs within me and then keeps digging, it's because she has been through what i been through, and she saw that before me. She tugs at my thoughts like a wedgie, and i don't mind one bit! I am not going to be pesimistic about this one...I promise!

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Sunday, March 13th, 2005
5:05 am - My luck
The Emotion of life, hidden from our thoughts is the essence of what we know . Hidden from what we know are the feelings. Hidden from how we feel is the truth. Let our thoughts reach out to our feelings and be honest with eachother, there will nothing left to hide, nothing left to avoid, nothing left ponder, you will be left with the truth of your emotions in the form of your life...love it or leave it!

PS. I want to love it!

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Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
11:34 pm - I hate cutting people off!
So i feel like i am a pretty punctual, non flakey type person. If say i am going to do something or call someone i usually do. Why is that right now in my life, basically noone that i know or that i am meeting seems to be returning that (except for Melissa). To me it is more then frustrating, its like the feeling of not mattering almost, and shit i don't like to feel that way. I am to nice too, I forgive to easily, its not that big of a deal but seriously people need to be more attention detailed when it comes to their interactions with people. I will bend over backwards for people but i guess that is un noticed by many, or if it is they feel its walk over me time. Sometimes i feel like maybe i want to much, but nah fuck that, what i really want isn't that much to ask for and in non modern society, this shit wouldn't happen. Cell phones and busy lives fuck things up alot, I know! Really though, being inconsiderate to people aint cool, and at a certain point i will turn into Twisted Sister. When i do decide to not take it anymore i will cut people off so quick, i will be like baby OJ! Just don't play the Tony the Tiger role with me and i swear we won't have problems a brewing!

current mood: aggravated

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Sunday, February 13th, 2005
3:38 pm
So, my look alike list has gone up, not that anyone knows what that means!

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Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
8:46 pm
Its been a long time again. I have done so much in the previous months and have met alot of people. I had to most frustrating thing happen to me today but it is so hard to explain that i won't bother.

Well I met this really amazing girl Alesia, like 2 months ago and things seemed to be really good and she seemed so into me and she was someone i could actally see myself with, but she ended going to japan during the holidays and after she came back she has been so different. All i got was an email saying that she is confused about life and what not. So that is great, i hope she gets it together but she keeps haunting me. The flyer for a movie she directed is up on the bulliten board at my work and she is a model and she popped up on an ad on yahoo. How weak is that, i wish she would just say yah or nay with us....

There is this other girl Leila...lets just say she looks just like Jasmine from Aladin. Georgeous and sweet and thoughful, but something is weird...I like her and i want to go further. It sounds like to me she hasn't really had boyfriends in the past, which is weird since she is my age. I will be a gentleman with her, i don't want to hurt her feelings because she is such a sweetheart...anyone know the story of Layla and Majnun, well its probably the most romantic story ever...I am going to give her the book as a surprise, stay tuned!

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Friday, September 17th, 2004
2:24 am - 80's mean romantic
Just so you know, I am passing on being a gigilo tonight. I am home getting ready to make my early 80's cheesy romantic mix CD. Getting my vinly together and all the loser classics(Foreinger, Amborsia, Peabo Bryson, Atlantic Starr, Air Supply....etc)

Yes I am a hopeless romantic and sometimes i admit it, this cd is going to be so me, and way to sappy!

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Thursday, September 16th, 2004
5:44 pm - Gosh why me???
So i am baffled by how i react to woman. I can be 100% attracted to girl and think she is great and then 2 weeks later nothing at all, not even a miligram of attraction. The thing is this happens all the time. For example:

I meet this girl, i meet alot of girls but this one i thought was pretty cool (and hot). The first time we went out,i picked her up at her house she was smokin, now she has fizzled out to that of a GPC cigerette butt. Not that she is unattractive at all, not that she is not intelligent, I just don't have anything inside me on any front that likes her at all! Why is this I ask?

See i have had maybe a 1 1/2 month relationship with a girl over the past 2 1/2 years. Lots of casual stuff, but nothing serious or even remotley close. I have a couple of ladies that I really like, but honestly i am afraid to say anything because atleast i have hope with them, and that is about as good as i can get lately (or for the past 2 1/2 years). I am scared that i will end up thinking they are not attractive, or not smart enough, or not good in bed, or crazy, and then what......

Maybe i should just be asexual!

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Thursday, August 26th, 2004
11:35 am - Make up sucks!
I just realized this morning that one of my biggest pet peeves is when girls hide under their make up. It's cool to wear a little, but when you wake next to a girl and the make up is off and she looks like a totally different person...well it is just WRONG. It's not only wrong but scary. Scary because of what you see and also scary because make up gives such a false sense of security to people, and hides what they really look like.

A little lipstick and eyeliner maybe, but wow my experience this morning was a complete eyeopener. The worst thing is I thought she was really cute and had no idea that the make up was covering so much up. I hate to sound like a jerk about it but I feel duped. When I used her bathroom this morning I noticed she had half of Nordstrom's make up department spread across ever square inch of the bathroom. I said "wow there is alot of make up in here", and heard a reply that went something like "yeah that is my prized collection, don't touch". Needless to say, my hands steered more then clear and i was out of there as fast as i can admit i don't know how to spell mascara.

See I have always been an opponent of make up. It's a waste of time, money and a persons well being when its abused. This latest encounter only solidifies my stance and more then anything is going to make me have another thing to look for when it comes to woman, if i already didn't have a problem when it comes to that.....

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Wednesday, August 18th, 2004
3:32 pm - Makes no difference who you are.........
I saw a shooting star on my way home from the studio last night. I wished for something, and after i wished for it i wasn't sure if it was something i wanted that bad. Its funny how emotions change so easily. I received a call at 2:30am last night from the studio saying my mega weird 80's mix didn't bounce down, and i thought i was done with it. Tonight it will be officially done!

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Sunday, July 25th, 2004
1:57 pm - Even it out day
The weather is so peaceful today! After the 90's it feels good, I am chillin today just babysitting a Nordstrom shoot doing absolutley nothing. Last night we had 2 shows, one at the Showbox and one at the Premier. EHHH... Tonight in Portland...great 6 hours of driving for 1 hour. For some reason i have been really stand offish as of late. I think is it just that I am tired of dealing with everyone elses crap when i have enough of my own to manage. Time to search ebay for a gold of platinum waves package, yah heard!

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Friday, July 16th, 2004
2:26 am - The issue at hand
I swear ever since a certain someone has gotten back into town, the most random people have been coming back into my life. She said the same thing has been happening to her as well. I was at Bada tonight and i ran into 2 of my old persian friends from college... Thats all i need is to get tied back into the gossiping community again. They got my contact info so we will see, hopefully they won't call me, but they seemed really happy to see me and Saed wanted to talk to my dad about carpets so it starts here.

I ran into alot of people in the scene that i haven't bumped into for a while as well which was cool. Met a couple of new girls one was really pushy and insecure, she said she was moving to NY so whatever! I honestly went out tonight alone with no girls and noone with me and said i will not give my # or get any #'s from anyone but that didn't happen.

On another note this girl I didn't want to be together with emailed me today and said....See-and you could of had me as your girl... LOL, i don't want a girlfriend and i guess i have to learn how to make that more clear eventhough i did with her and I do with everyone else! This stuff is complicated and I am not out here to hurt anyone but damn I can't have a guilty conscious if i don't do anything wrong.

Enough about girls right... obviously that is my main issue in life right now though......................

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Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
1:45 am - Frustrated as all hell!
GRRRRRRRRR ebay is acting up of late!!!!!!!

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1:26 am - Overall
Today just didn't go right. From the beginning of the day i felt weird. One thing brought me down to reality mid day that was actually good for me. I didn't want to be head over heels for this girl, I wanted it to be more casual and I think i was making it more head over heels, and i was told something today that will bring me back to my original plan which i think is the right one. I did leave a Byrdie sampler on Nina's car today, i hope she doesn't think i am a stalker or anything, I literally drive by her work all the time so i thought hey no biggy right. She is a flake anyway, she would have to prove huge otherwise to get me to be interested in her again. Other then that today was worthless and I have had better days, i hope tomorrow goes better and so on... otherwise this week is going to suck. I think i will ask this girl Megan out on Thursday to break up the end of the week a little! I think i need to stop and be alone for a while too, it is just hard to do in the summer. I guess tomorrow might be okay i was invited to go drink with the Wedgewood softball team after their game...bottoms up!

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